NO. (period) : Is a complete sentence. Learning the importance of setting boundaries in motherhood.
I recently took some much needed time off social media to re-evaluate my priorities. It's no secret I LOVE and thrive off being busy. The more chaotic my life is the more at peace I am. Well, the more at peace I thought I was. Having a high risk pregnancy at age 37 with two busy boys at home has forced me to have to slow down. That and feeling every bone, ligament and muscle ache the further along I get. There is nothing sweeter than watching my boys 8 and 4 trying to help their mama out bed or off the couch. Asking if I am ok with every whimper and groan. It made me realise I needed them just as much, if not more than they needed me. That time was passing by everyday and they were learning to navigate and thrive in a world where I was less than present and often unavailable.
Facing the Truth
It's easy, as a fierce modern mompreneur, to buy into the "You can have it all" adage but Oprah put it best,
"You can have it all. Just not all at once." - Oprah
I distinctly remember the yearning I had inside me for this child that I am so blessed to be carrying. Like his brothers, he didn't choose be brought into this world. We, I made the conscious decision to be their mother and now I had to decide what kind of mother I wanted to be. I thought I was being 100% efficient at everything but if there is one truth I have learnt it's, it is so much easier to disappoint those you love than it is to let strangers down.
Trying it out
So recently I have had to learn to say NO. No to my ambition. No to my desire to want to do it all and to do it all right now. No to new ventures, collaborations and opportunities. No to the constant need to check my phone, my DMs and my follower count. I had to say NO to me.
I had to learn to say YES, to "mom can I come to work with you. Mom can you read with me. Mom can we play catch." Yes, to 6am morning cuddles and yes to every Friday night family movie. See the biggest take away from my time away has been
...learning to live in moment, not just capture it.
Work - I am pacing myself, asking for help when I need it. I have the most amazing work wife I am learning to figure out what letting go of control looks like. (I completely suck at this.) We have two amazing assistants who are helping keep The Perfect Push (TPP) running smoothly. I have set office hours and try not to check my email on weekends. I officially retired from attending deliveries. This was a hard, but long overdue decision. I am so proud of our growing doula team and the work that their doing. I postponed the opening of our new clinic to the fall and am actually closing the clinic to enjoy every moment of being a new mom this July. (It will only be for 6 weeks, but if you know me, THAT IS HUGE.)
Social Media - I'm back and excited to share what will likely be my last rodeo but bare with me if it's not quite perfect. I am hoping to continue to share my journey, help and inspire as many bumps, babies and boobs out there. Forgive me if I do not return your DMs immediately. It's hard to wean your kiddos off gadgets when you are glued to them yourself. I promise to be honest and authentic. (Minus the filters, just saying!)
Family - I have committed to a being present and available. I literally have to BEG Tana (4) to spend time with me, he would rather play Mario on his Nintendo switch. So the competition is stiff right now. LOL! I love our nightly spelling tests with Tai, watching Friday movies and seeing them marvel at my growing belly.
There isn't a right way to do motherhood, but if if stop long enough and to listen, look and feel you will know when something is not working. You don't have to know how to fix it, you just have to try.